Some people say that one day you become a man. Others say that it is a gradual process. I am in the opinion that it is a gradual process. I will give a couple examples of how this gradual process has come in my life.
My parents have always taught me to be respectful to women, to live a life worthy of respect, and to be true to God and family. They also taught the fundamental principle of hard work. I had a goal to have my Eagle Scout before I turned 15. This was my goal and not a goal that my parents set for me. I really wanted to beat my older brother’s age in getting it. I worked hard, set goals, got help from leaders and family so I could progress to meet this goal. At age 14 I didn’t always want to do everything but wanted my parents to jump in and take over asking people to help, asking people to donate, and to really help organize my Eagle Scout project. They did not. They are the great parents that showed me that if I wanted to accomplish a goal, I needed to do it and be mature. They helped me find the right people to meet and sometimes make appointments to see them, but I was the one that needed to go and talk to them. Grant it, there were times where they needed to talk to the people over the property I was doing my project on so they had a better understanding and convey things that a 14 year old boy couldn’t. This helped me see that I needed to take personal responsibility and not hide from society.
One of life’s lessons came as a cannon ball in the chest and the impact was really unexpected. My Dad had retired from the Air Force and wanted to go back to College to finish his Higher Education that he started years before. After searching and figuring things out, the only establishment that would take the majority of his credits he received in the year of Air Force was Brigham Young University. There comes another part of the story. When Dad had retired from the Air Force my Moms great desire was to take care of her Mom back in Pennsylvania in her weakened health condition so she could enjoy the rest of her life as much as possible. This proved a complication. How could they be together? It was decided after much consideration and prayer that Dad would go and finish his education as quickly as possible and Mom would take care of Grammy back in Pennsylvania. This was going to be tough, but they loved each other enough to make it work and be bound strongly together over 2,000 miles away.
All my older siblings had already left the house or was at college. This means I am the only child at the house to be with Mom and Grammy. A couple days before my 16th birthday Dad left to finish the University. Before he left he came to me and put his hands on my shoulder and looked me in the eyes. He said to me that he was going away and “you are now the man of the house.” This hit with all the effect of an anvil. I felt the mantel fall upon my shoulder and a reality opened up in my mind that I had never thought about. I was, of that moment, responsible for taking care of Mom, Grammy, all things in the house, fix anything that gets broken, take care of the yard, and to make sure all is in order. I learned in these two years that adulthood waits for no man and will come to you when it is summoned. With this you ether keep up with it or get rolled under.
I am so thankful for an understanding Mom, who under all the pressure she had, found time to give me advice, council me, encourage me, and be a strength that was so strongly needed. I am thankful for my Dad who called to make sure I was doing well, provided for me still, and made sure all the needs where taken care of. I learned that a loving Heavenly Father was there to listen to my prayers, hear them, and answer them. There was Christ, the constant Beacon of life who showed the way and gives strength through his Infinite Understanding because He went through the Atonement. I am always so thankful for the Holy Ghost, who led, guided, and gave inspiration.
This was not an easy transition phase for me. I wanted to be a youth, to go to parities, to be care free, to do stuff and not worry about the outcome, to do whatever I wanted with my time. It happened sometimes but my youth was never to be the same and I have no regrets from it. It was a refining process, a time of pushing way the growth but it continually ringing the doorbell, and a time that molded me into the Child of God I am today. Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:11 “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.” This isn’t an easy process to go through. When I would stress out about it, Mom was there talking to me, letting me know that it wasn’t easy for any of us for this situation to happen but that we were all going to make it through.
The next came by going on a mission. Here at the age of 19 we are sent off to a different area, are going to proclaim the Gospel of Christ to all without hesitation, have contact with family once a week by email or mail, and are cut off from worldly care. Can we say life change? This helped form me into a better man because we are molded in the hands of God to be the best person possible. We are transferred and are with people 24 hours a day. This definitely helps with communication problems and also helps determine what I wanted in a future wife and what I did not want in a future wife. If you are going to be a man, become a man of God. The mission with all its growth, change, doctrinal knowledge, and spiritual enhancements helps form you, according to your willingness, to be the man of God. This also helps you focus on what is really important in life and what is trivial. After the mission we sometimes get distracted from what is important but we can always go back to the important things and live life to the fullest then.
The latest one happened around Thanksgiving 2011. A group of friends where having a Thanksgiving dinner a week before for others, so we called it Fanksgiving. I went over to my friend’s apartment to prepare the stuffing I was brining and Malorie told me that her and Katy had discussed and decided that I would be the perfect person to carve the turnkey. I laughed and thought she was joking. We went to the lounge and Katy told me the same thing. At that moment I knew that they were being serious. I was shocked and honored all at the same time! It was also very humbling. I felt inside me something being fulfilled that I didn’t know needed to happen. It was something being checked off on the man card. I never realized that carving a turkey was going to mean that much. I realized that this was me filling the shoes of my Father! He had always carved the turkey and it is always reserved for the patriarchal figure or father of a family. It was so much fun carving the turkey and talking to people as they passed through the line.
These are just some of the examples of what has happened in my life to be who I am today. The biggest aspect of life is the family. The following story will help demonstrate the great importance of family.
I was around seven years old and we had made a trip to Pennsylvania to spend some time with the Grandma’s and relatives in December. We were driving back to Texas so we could have Christmas there. We had two vehicles with all six kids, both parents, and both Grandma’s. We were going through one state and a huge snowstorm hit. Somehow the vehicles got separated and there was no contact. My vehicle thought that both would keep on going and we would meet in Texas. This was not the case. My vehicle made it home and the other didn’t show up that night. Mom was able to contact us and they had stopped in the city and because the snow was so bad they had to spend the night there. We didn’t see them the next day either.
All the Christmas presents were under the tree when we got home! Santa had left the presents in Texas and not in Pennsylvania, which was a huge concern of us kids for this trip. We asked Dad if we could open the presents but he said that we had to wait for the rest of the family to get there. It was a huge struggle waiting for them. But Dad said that we needed to wait because we are a family and families celebrate Christmas together, not apart. We did, and I don’t remember much about that day, but I remember that we where all together and it was an amazing feeling! Not worrying if they where safe or if they were going to make it home. Knowing that we where all there and together, that is peace and joy. That is why Christ was born and then died to live again for. So that all the family could be in heaven together, rejoicing, sharing, and growing together in love and true joy! That is a lesson I will never forget.
So what have I learned? Don’t be afraid of change, don’t fight it, it will happen. Embrace it, love it, and you will never regret it! It is for our betterment. Even though we might think it stinks at the time, something we don’t want to do, or even try and run away from; it is what we truly yearn for and look back on with found memories forever.
The life lessons learned are some of the greatest jewels in mortality. They affect who we are, what we want to become, and who we do become. They set standards for our lives, quality in life’s meaning, and the goal to keep on being better and never settling for the mediocre. Family is the greatest blessing on earth. They are my closest friends. They can always be counted on, and are always there to be a support and be supported for the best. Without my family my life would be vain. They are me and I am them. We are the Peters Family!
